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haebinI hope you'll enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 18: The dark side of desire
Summary: Physical pleasure can be a wonderful thing. But it also carries the risk of abuse.
Anwyn must face this fact when the young maid Serah seeks her help.
Notes: This chapter contains masturbation as well as the topic/mention of unwanted pregnancy, sexual abuse/rape, abortion.
Trálír swung himself off the saddle and handed Arod's reins to Fairre, the old stable master who was standing in front of some hay bales with another servant, saying, "Unsaddle him and take him to his stall."
He nodded to both men, then turned away without a word and walked towards the Great Hall. He struggled to keep a motionless expression on his face on the way there which was in stark contrast to the excitement he had felt since he had first kissed Anwyn and explored her body.
His hardened cock pressed tightly and painfully against his breeches.
Each step was a bittersweet pain and he counted the seconds as he put one foot in front of the other. All he wanted was... well, to touch himself. Ever since Anwyn had experienced her first climax on his lips, Tralir had wanted to give in to the heat and longing pulling at his lower abdomen. He didn't want to force himself on her, so he had decided to return to the castle, lock himself in his chamber, and give in to the desire for his own climax.
When the high elf had crossed half of the hall, another elf suddenly stepped in front of him, forcing him to stop. Trálír raised an eyebrow impatiently.
"What is it?" growled Trálír irritably and the elf, dressed in the armor of the Blackwater Castle, suddenly looked at him uncertainly.
"Sir, your father demands..." he began and was immediately interrupted by the Firstborn.
"That can wait! Tell him I am busy." Trálír looked at the soldier warningly, causing him to take a step to the side, clear the way and look to the ground. "And I don't want to be disturbed."
He walked past the soldier without a word and climbed the many steps until he reached the corridor to his chamber. When Trálír was finally able to open the door, he stepped inside, shut it behind him and locked it quickly. Then he slumped back against the thick wood, leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
He could still taste Anwyn on his tongue, still feel the pressure of her lips on his, hear her sighing and whispering his name as she climaxed.
Trálír undid his laces and slid his hand inside his pants. He breathed a sigh of relief when his fingers encircled his hard member. He suspected that only a few quick strokes would be enough to bring him to climax, but Trálír wanted to savor the feeling. The knowledge that it was him, his fingers and his tongue that had almost driven Anwyn out of her mind, increased his excitement immeasurably. Heavy breathing he licked his lips and felt his member twitch as he could still recall the taste of her. He remembered her eyes glazed over with lust as he lay between her thighs and slid his tongue over her folds and clit. He could still feel her twitching beneath him, her fingernails pressing into his shoulders.
His hand moved slowly into a teasing rhythm and he imagined Anwyn doing this, imagined her hands touching his member from the shaft to the tip. Long, slow movements with her fingertips as she knelt in front of him until she tightened her grip. He thought of her slowly gliding along his shaft with her fingers until to the tip, where she lubricated his member with his pre-cum. Trálír bit his lip to suppress the groan that was rising in his throat.
He imagined how Anwyn would tilt her head slightly to one side, her fawn eyes sensual and demanding at the same time, a smile on her lips as she approached his member.
Trálír groaned as he saw in his mind's eye how Anwyn pressed it to her lips and gently kissed his tip.
His strokes became faster, more pressing and he saw her tongue gliding along at his pulsating member while her hand was still at his shaft, gently massaging it. The pleasure, the heat inside him became stronger and stronger. Trálír arched his back from the door, moaning deeply with lust.
He saw her lean back slightly, the tender smile he loved so much on her lips. Anwyn slowly sank back, her soft body sinking into the damp moss, and she opened her thighs for him. When Trálír saw that her body was already yearning for him, her lips swollen and glistening, he groaned, tightened his fingers around his pulsing member, and fucked his fist while imagining it sinking into Anwyn's tight heat.
„Gods, fuck, FUCK… ngh“, he moaned as he came and spilled over his shirt.
*****
It was early in the morning and Anwyn's father had already left the house a few minutes ago to hopefully return with a good catch at the end of the day. Anwyn herself stood in front of her storage area and glanced at the shelves Trálír had placed on the wall a few days ago so that she could examine her growing collection of herbs and ointments. On the last shelf hung several different collected plants to dry, which she would then grind or process into powder.
Sometimes when she lay on her bed at night, she dreamed of having her own little hut just for herself, where she could devote herself entirely to her knowledge of herbs and healing. She dreamed of numerous shelves full of oils, ointments, teas, small boxes full of dried marigold, chamomile, sage and coneflower, water mint, lemon balm, wormwood and peppermint, which she could use for various purposes. Even though Anwyn had only helped Coran's child so far and was unsure about treating other people who might find their way to her, she still secretly dreamed about it.
Since winter had finally left the Blackwater Lands, she had returned to the village every tenth day and had retreated with the healer to his bower for hours, asking questions, listening to his words, thanking him when he had let her choose new and unread books from his large collection, which she had studied in the evening by the light of the oil lamp until her eyes had literally closed from exhaustion and she had almost fallen asleep at the table.
Trálír had given her a blank notebook with the words that she could use it for her notes and Anwyn had complied. She had written everything down and made a note about every single plant she had held in her hands. Every herb, every mushroom, every plant she knew that she had found, what effect it had and how best to use it, she described in great detail.
Since Trálír would be visiting the High Elves of Blackmoor on this day, he had promised to ask a healer friend of his for seeds for royal blue, red dragon's bane, white seven-star, blackmoor leaf and the common shade vine. Each of these plants was a shade plant and could only be found in dark places, so Anwyn planned to plant them in a narrow bed at the back of the house, as this would always be in the shade and thus ensure that the plants would thrive; if Trálír managed to acquire the seeds.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Anwyn was snapped out of her thoughts. Surprised, she turned away from her camp, took the few steps to the door and opened it.
"Conall?" There was surprise in her voice. "Why are you knocking on the door? Is there anything you or Ulthred need?"
Anwyn was puzzled by the half-elf's appearance at her door, for normally he and his friend started work as soon as they reached the courtyard.
They greeted Anwyn when she left the house and began her daily chores or when they met in the courtyard as soon as she appeared. Since the day the two half-elves had appeared, there had never been a moment when anyone had knocked on the door of the small house.
"May I come in?" the slender half-elf asked, looking at Anwyn uncertainly.
"Of course," she replied and opened the door. "Please, have a seat."
Conall nodded, entered the house and sat down at the table. Anwyn did the same, took a seat opposite him and looked at him questioningly.
The half-elf cleared his throat uncertainly and Anwyn gave him an inviting look to begin.
"My wife asked me to tell you..." He broke off and took a deep breath, gathering all the courage he needed to tell Anwyn why he needed her help. "You were a great help to us when it came to treating my son, and I know from our lord that you don't really consider yourself a healer. But I think you have an innate understanding for plants, humans and half-elves too." Conall smiled faintly.
"There is someone who needs your help, Anwyn. She's from Blackwater Castle and works as a scullery maid, but my wife knows her well and has been looking after her since she started working at the castle last summer."
Anwyn looked at Conall in a waiting manner, giving him the time he needed to explain everything to her.
"My wife approached me yesterday in this rather delicate presence and asked if you would ..." He broke off again, the look in his green eyes nervous. "No one would help the girl in this situation. The elf healer would refuse because she is human and the healer in her own village? If someone found out about her condition? I don't like to imagine what the girl would have to endure." Pain showed on Conall's face.
"Then she is carrying an unborn child?" Anwyn asked cautiously and the half-elf nodded hesitantly.
"She's waiting on the wagon," he replied.
"Send her to me," Anwyn said with an encouraging smile and Conall rose with relief.
"Thank you," he whispered, gave her a grateful smile and left the house. Just a few moments later, there was a timid knock at the door.
"Come in," Anwyn called, pointing into the house as the door slowly opened and a young girl appeared in the doorway. She stared at Anwyn with big blue eyes, uncertain and afraid.
"Please sit down," she said and watched as the girl slowly sat down on the stool. She bit her lower lip uncertainly and avoided Anwyn's gaze, whose heart tightened as she looked at the intimidated, slender maid. Something about her touched Anwyn deeply.
"Would you like some tea?" she asked and the young girl nodded hesitantly. Anwyn wanted to give her the time she would probably need to open up to her.
She poured the chamomile tea she had freshly brewed in the morning into two cups and sat down.
Still avoiding Anwyn's gaze, the girl sat opposite her. Her hair, which reminded Anwyn of wheat on a warm summer's day, was tied tightly at the nape of her neck.
Her face was narrow and pale and an unusual hardness lay on her countenance. But Anwyn read such deep sorrow in her blue eyes that it belied the hard expression on her young face.
"What is your name?" Anwyn asked in a low voice.
"Serah," the girl replied hesitantly, almost whispering, after a few seconds.
"Do you want to tell me why you seek my help?"
She nodded slowly and took a deep breath, as if she had to gather all her courage. But in the next moment she failed to put her thoughts into words and her eyes filled with tears.
"Would you allow me to summarize what Conall said?" Anwyn asked in a soft voice and Serah nodded once more. Their eyes met for a brief moment, then she lowered her gaze and stared at the cup of tea in her hands in front of her.
"You're carrying a child, aren't you?" Anwyn asked softly.
Instead of an answer, a tear trickled down Sera's pale cheek and Anwyn carefully and gently placed her hand on Serah's intertwined fingers. This touch caused the young kitchen maid's heart to break and she began to sob uncontrollably. Anwyn tried to suppress her rising tears, for Serah's obvious suffering also pained her deeply. She cleared her throat and wished she could take the girl in her arms, tell her that everything would be all right, that the future would not be hopeless. But she had to wait for the girl to confide in her and so she sat opposite her and listened to the sobs that filled the house.
After a while, Serah calmed down enough to finally raise her eyes and look at Anwyn. There was such pain in her blue eyes that even Anwyn could hardly bear it. Something told her that it wasn't just about the unborn child.
"When was your last cycle?"
"Seven times a Tenday," Sera replied quietly.
"Did you feel any signs like morning sickness or bloating? Is your chest tight?" Anwyn asked intently.
"Yes," the young girl replied hesitantly. "I know these symptoms from my mother when she was pregnant with my brother."
Anwyn nodded.
"I know my next question won't be pleasant, but I have to ask it to be sure." Her hand was still on Sera's interlaced fingers and she gently stroked them with her thumb to reassure the girl. "So there was a union with you and someone else?"
Serah closed her eyes in agony and nodded. Anwyn felt her heart stop, for the obvious pain and deep sorrow on her face made her realize that this child was not conceived in love.
This fruit had been born out of pain and hate.
Anwyn knew about the women who, even in a happy or stable relationship, were sometimes forced to resort to abortion. In some cases, the mother's health was in danger, while other women had to decide against pregnancy because they were too poor to raise the child.
There were also women who were impregnated by a man other than their own husband, often against their will. When Anwyn had read up on the subject and decided to help in such cases, she had sworn to herself that she would not judge the woman's decision. It was not her place to judge others, regardless of the reasons for deciding against pregnancy and the birth of the own child.
She knew that there were many healers who refused to help women in such a situation, mostly in the hands of herbalists. But there was no one around who could have helped except the village healer. He had never been a friend of aborting pregnancies, but when his daughter was abused by a stranger and became pregnant, he had to ask himself whether he would help or not. The healer had decided against it and lost his beloved daughter when she and the unwanted child died in childbirth.
Since then, he did everything he could to spare others this pain. And this was also the reason why he passed on all his knowledge to Anwyn.
Chapter 18: The dark side of desire
Summary: Physical pleasure can be a wonderful thing. But it also carries the risk of abuse.
Anwyn must face this fact when the young maid Serah seeks her help.
Notes: This chapter contains masturbation as well as the topic/mention of unwanted pregnancy, sexual abuse/rape, abortion.
Trálír swung himself off the saddle and handed Arod's reins to Fairre, the old stable master who was standing in front of some hay bales with another servant, saying, "Unsaddle him and take him to his stall."
He nodded to both men, then turned away without a word and walked towards the Great Hall. He struggled to keep a motionless expression on his face on the way there which was in stark contrast to the excitement he had felt since he had first kissed Anwyn and explored her body.
His hardened cock pressed tightly and painfully against his breeches.
Each step was a bittersweet pain and he counted the seconds as he put one foot in front of the other. All he wanted was... well, to touch himself. Ever since Anwyn had experienced her first climax on his lips, Tralir had wanted to give in to the heat and longing pulling at his lower abdomen. He didn't want to force himself on her, so he had decided to return to the castle, lock himself in his chamber, and give in to the desire for his own climax.
When the high elf had crossed half of the hall, another elf suddenly stepped in front of him, forcing him to stop. Trálír raised an eyebrow impatiently.
"What is it?" growled Trálír irritably and the elf, dressed in the armor of the Blackwater Castle, suddenly looked at him uncertainly.
"Sir, your father demands..." he began and was immediately interrupted by the Firstborn.
"That can wait! Tell him I am busy." Trálír looked at the soldier warningly, causing him to take a step to the side, clear the way and look to the ground. "And I don't want to be disturbed."
He walked past the soldier without a word and climbed the many steps until he reached the corridor to his chamber. When Trálír was finally able to open the door, he stepped inside, shut it behind him and locked it quickly. Then he slumped back against the thick wood, leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
He could still taste Anwyn on his tongue, still feel the pressure of her lips on his, hear her sighing and whispering his name as she climaxed.
Trálír undid his laces and slid his hand inside his pants. He breathed a sigh of relief when his fingers encircled his hard member. He suspected that only a few quick strokes would be enough to bring him to climax, but Trálír wanted to savor the feeling. The knowledge that it was him, his fingers and his tongue that had almost driven Anwyn out of her mind, increased his excitement immeasurably. Heavy breathing he licked his lips and felt his member twitch as he could still recall the taste of her. He remembered her eyes glazed over with lust as he lay between her thighs and slid his tongue over her folds and clit. He could still feel her twitching beneath him, her fingernails pressing into his shoulders.
His hand moved slowly into a teasing rhythm and he imagined Anwyn doing this, imagined her hands touching his member from the shaft to the tip. Long, slow movements with her fingertips as she knelt in front of him until she tightened her grip. He thought of her slowly gliding along his shaft with her fingers until to the tip, where she lubricated his member with his pre-cum. Trálír bit his lip to suppress the groan that was rising in his throat.
He imagined how Anwyn would tilt her head slightly to one side, her fawn eyes sensual and demanding at the same time, a smile on her lips as she approached his member.
Trálír groaned as he saw in his mind's eye how Anwyn pressed it to her lips and gently kissed his tip.
His strokes became faster, more pressing and he saw her tongue gliding along at his pulsating member while her hand was still at his shaft, gently massaging it. The pleasure, the heat inside him became stronger and stronger. Trálír arched his back from the door, moaning deeply with lust.
He saw her lean back slightly, the tender smile he loved so much on her lips. Anwyn slowly sank back, her soft body sinking into the damp moss, and she opened her thighs for him. When Trálír saw that her body was already yearning for him, her lips swollen and glistening, he groaned, tightened his fingers around his pulsing member, and fucked his fist while imagining it sinking into Anwyn's tight heat.
„Gods, fuck, FUCK… ngh“, he moaned as he came and spilled over his shirt.
*****
It was early in the morning and Anwyn's father had already left the house a few minutes ago to hopefully return with a good catch at the end of the day. Anwyn herself stood in front of her storage area and glanced at the shelves Trálír had placed on the wall a few days ago so that she could examine her growing collection of herbs and ointments. On the last shelf hung several different collected plants to dry, which she would then grind or process into powder.
Sometimes when she lay on her bed at night, she dreamed of having her own little hut just for herself, where she could devote herself entirely to her knowledge of herbs and healing. She dreamed of numerous shelves full of oils, ointments, teas, small boxes full of dried marigold, chamomile, sage and coneflower, water mint, lemon balm, wormwood and peppermint, which she could use for various purposes. Even though Anwyn had only helped Coran's child so far and was unsure about treating other people who might find their way to her, she still secretly dreamed about it.
Since winter had finally left the Blackwater Lands, she had returned to the village every tenth day and had retreated with the healer to his bower for hours, asking questions, listening to his words, thanking him when he had let her choose new and unread books from his large collection, which she had studied in the evening by the light of the oil lamp until her eyes had literally closed from exhaustion and she had almost fallen asleep at the table.
Trálír had given her a blank notebook with the words that she could use it for her notes and Anwyn had complied. She had written everything down and made a note about every single plant she had held in her hands. Every herb, every mushroom, every plant she knew that she had found, what effect it had and how best to use it, she described in great detail.
Since Trálír would be visiting the High Elves of Blackmoor on this day, he had promised to ask a healer friend of his for seeds for royal blue, red dragon's bane, white seven-star, blackmoor leaf and the common shade vine. Each of these plants was a shade plant and could only be found in dark places, so Anwyn planned to plant them in a narrow bed at the back of the house, as this would always be in the shade and thus ensure that the plants would thrive; if Trálír managed to acquire the seeds.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Anwyn was snapped out of her thoughts. Surprised, she turned away from her camp, took the few steps to the door and opened it.
"Conall?" There was surprise in her voice. "Why are you knocking on the door? Is there anything you or Ulthred need?"
Anwyn was puzzled by the half-elf's appearance at her door, for normally he and his friend started work as soon as they reached the courtyard.
They greeted Anwyn when she left the house and began her daily chores or when they met in the courtyard as soon as she appeared. Since the day the two half-elves had appeared, there had never been a moment when anyone had knocked on the door of the small house.
"May I come in?" the slender half-elf asked, looking at Anwyn uncertainly.
"Of course," she replied and opened the door. "Please, have a seat."
Conall nodded, entered the house and sat down at the table. Anwyn did the same, took a seat opposite him and looked at him questioningly.
The half-elf cleared his throat uncertainly and Anwyn gave him an inviting look to begin.
"My wife asked me to tell you..." He broke off and took a deep breath, gathering all the courage he needed to tell Anwyn why he needed her help. "You were a great help to us when it came to treating my son, and I know from our lord that you don't really consider yourself a healer. But I think you have an innate understanding for plants, humans and half-elves too." Conall smiled faintly.
"There is someone who needs your help, Anwyn. She's from Blackwater Castle and works as a scullery maid, but my wife knows her well and has been looking after her since she started working at the castle last summer."
Anwyn looked at Conall in a waiting manner, giving him the time he needed to explain everything to her.
"My wife approached me yesterday in this rather delicate presence and asked if you would ..." He broke off again, the look in his green eyes nervous. "No one would help the girl in this situation. The elf healer would refuse because she is human and the healer in her own village? If someone found out about her condition? I don't like to imagine what the girl would have to endure." Pain showed on Conall's face.
"Then she is carrying an unborn child?" Anwyn asked cautiously and the half-elf nodded hesitantly.
"She's waiting on the wagon," he replied.
"Send her to me," Anwyn said with an encouraging smile and Conall rose with relief.
"Thank you," he whispered, gave her a grateful smile and left the house. Just a few moments later, there was a timid knock at the door.
"Come in," Anwyn called, pointing into the house as the door slowly opened and a young girl appeared in the doorway. She stared at Anwyn with big blue eyes, uncertain and afraid.
"Please sit down," she said and watched as the girl slowly sat down on the stool. She bit her lower lip uncertainly and avoided Anwyn's gaze, whose heart tightened as she looked at the intimidated, slender maid. Something about her touched Anwyn deeply.
"Would you like some tea?" she asked and the young girl nodded hesitantly. Anwyn wanted to give her the time she would probably need to open up to her.
She poured the chamomile tea she had freshly brewed in the morning into two cups and sat down.
Still avoiding Anwyn's gaze, the girl sat opposite her. Her hair, which reminded Anwyn of wheat on a warm summer's day, was tied tightly at the nape of her neck.
Her face was narrow and pale and an unusual hardness lay on her countenance. But Anwyn read such deep sorrow in her blue eyes that it belied the hard expression on her young face.
"What is your name?" Anwyn asked in a low voice.
"Serah," the girl replied hesitantly, almost whispering, after a few seconds.
"Do you want to tell me why you seek my help?"
She nodded slowly and took a deep breath, as if she had to gather all her courage. But in the next moment she failed to put her thoughts into words and her eyes filled with tears.
"Would you allow me to summarize what Conall said?" Anwyn asked in a soft voice and Serah nodded once more. Their eyes met for a brief moment, then she lowered her gaze and stared at the cup of tea in her hands in front of her.
"You're carrying a child, aren't you?" Anwyn asked softly.
Instead of an answer, a tear trickled down Sera's pale cheek and Anwyn carefully and gently placed her hand on Serah's intertwined fingers. This touch caused the young kitchen maid's heart to break and she began to sob uncontrollably. Anwyn tried to suppress her rising tears, for Serah's obvious suffering also pained her deeply. She cleared her throat and wished she could take the girl in her arms, tell her that everything would be all right, that the future would not be hopeless. But she had to wait for the girl to confide in her and so she sat opposite her and listened to the sobs that filled the house.
After a while, Serah calmed down enough to finally raise her eyes and look at Anwyn. There was such pain in her blue eyes that even Anwyn could hardly bear it. Something told her that it wasn't just about the unborn child.
"When was your last cycle?"
"Seven times a Tenday," Sera replied quietly.
"Did you feel any signs like morning sickness or bloating? Is your chest tight?" Anwyn asked intently.
"Yes," the young girl replied hesitantly. "I know these symptoms from my mother when she was pregnant with my brother."
Anwyn nodded.
"I know my next question won't be pleasant, but I have to ask it to be sure." Her hand was still on Sera's interlaced fingers and she gently stroked them with her thumb to reassure the girl. "So there was a union with you and someone else?"
Serah closed her eyes in agony and nodded. Anwyn felt her heart stop, for the obvious pain and deep sorrow on her face made her realize that this child was not conceived in love.
This fruit had been born out of pain and hate.
Anwyn knew about the women who, even in a happy or stable relationship, were sometimes forced to resort to abortion. In some cases, the mother's health was in danger, while other women had to decide against pregnancy because they were too poor to raise the child.
There were also women who were impregnated by a man other than their own husband, often against their will. When Anwyn had read up on the subject and decided to help in such cases, she had sworn to herself that she would not judge the woman's decision. It was not her place to judge others, regardless of the reasons for deciding against pregnancy and the birth of the own child.
She knew that there were many healers who refused to help women in such a situation, mostly in the hands of herbalists. But there was no one around who could have helped except the village healer. He had never been a friend of aborting pregnancies, but when his daughter was abused by a stranger and became pregnant, he had to ask himself whether he would help or not. The healer had decided against it and lost his beloved daughter when she and the unwanted child died in childbirth.
Since then, he did everything he could to spare others this pain. And this was also the reason why he passed on all his knowledge to Anwyn.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-05 04:29 pm (UTC)The second part was very good as well.
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Date: 2024-05-06 11:30 am (UTC)XDDD
Thank you so, so much!!
❤️❤️❤️
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Date: 2024-05-05 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-05-06 11:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 03:24 pm (UTC)Oh nein :( Da muss man echt schon sehr verzweifelt sein. Ich bin froh, dass es heute wenigstens so etwas wie Babyklappen gibt...
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Date: 2024-05-22 09:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-05-06 08:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-05-06 11:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-05-06 05:23 pm (UTC)Thank you for sharing yet again!
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Date: 2024-05-09 09:45 am (UTC)Thank you so, so much for reading, hun. It means a lot to me. ♥️