haebin

Here is the next Chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Chapter 19: Wounded & Broken

Summary: Anwyn has to deal with the physical and emotional wounds of a young maid who found her way to her, not knowing that her loved One's brother is the one who hurt the girl.

Notes: This chapter contains the topics about abortion, physical and sexual abuse and the treatment of physical wounds.

Notes²: A big "THANK YOU" goes to my Friend Janika G. because she helped me with my questions about everything medical.

The pain in Serah's eyes reminded Anwyn not only of the helplessness of the current situation, but of a suffering that went much deeper, an agony that was almost unbearable for the young girl.
A misery that Anwyn had often heard of and seen when women turned to the village healer when strangers, robbers or many a friend had forced themselves on them against their will. Sometimes even a woman's own spouse did the same thing to her.
A violated girl or woman, punished with an unwanted fruit in her womb, would be immediately chased from the court of the Blackwater Castle. They had no use for a pregnant servant or an extra eater. She would hardly be welcomed into her home either. Many of the human inhabitants of Blackwater Bay lived on the edge of poverty and an extra eater at their table was a great burden for so many families. If Serah were to return to her home, punished with the brat of a stranger, she and her family would be ostracized.
If her family didn't clearly stand behind her, and Anwyn wasn't sure they would, she would be in danger of being driven from home and hearth there as well.
If that happened, there weren't many options left for her.
One was to carry the pregnancy to term, give birth and abandon the newborn in the forest, which for many was a common way to dispose of a child. If she kept the child without the support of her family or a man by her side, she would have no choice but to eke out an existence in poverty. For women who chose this path, the only way to get coins was through prostitution.
And those who chose this path did not have much of a future. How many times had Anwyn heard that a drunken, violent punter had lost control and the whore had lost her life.
This child would never have a chance, and neither would Serah.

Anwyn nodded slowly, let go of the girl's hands and stood up. She walked to her storage place and searched the shelves above for the herbs she needed, weighed them and packed them with a note on how to take them before pausing and turning around.
"Can you read, Serah?"
The girl nodded slowly. "Not well, but Conall's wife can and I know she'll help me."
Anwyn continued and then turned to her, several small bags in her hand that were labeled.
"You will drink this," she said, pointing to the bag with the least weight. "Put the herbs in a piece of cloth and run hot water over them so that none of them fall into your cup. It looks little, but tansy is highly poisonous and life-threatening, Serah. It will kill the fruit in your womb, but too much of it and you would suffer terrible convulsions, hear and see things that are not true. In the worst case, you could die. You must be careful."
The young girl nodded gravely.
"Here are some opium poppies and willow bark tea. Take the opium poppy in the dose I've written down for you, that way you'll be able to get through the worst of the pain. You will probably get a fever, so have Conall's wife make you some willow bark tea, it will reduce the fever."

"How long...?" Serah broke off, ashamed.
"A few hours to three days, Serah. Don't drink more than a cup of tea even if it takes a day or more for nothing to happen. It will come to an end, you must not lose patience and think you have to boil the herbs one more time. It would kill you."
There was fear in the kitchen maid's large, blue eyes.
"Make sure you are not alone, that there is someone to watch by your side. You will bleed a lot, more than your normal cycle. Make sure you have fresh cloths and warm, clean water."
Anwyn placed the cloth bags filled with herbs on the table and reached across the old wooden board for Serah's hands, which she took in hers.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking as she watched the girl to stifle the sobs that were rising. „I am so sorry this happened to you.“

Serah swallowed the lump forming in her throat, tried a weak smile and then reached into the pocket of the apron she was wearing. Anwyn watched in amazement as she pulled out a golden coin and placed it on the table.
"You don't have to do that," she said, shaking her head. "I don't want that coin. You don't have to pay for my help."
Serah shook her head vehemently. "I don't want that gold," she said, her voice trembling. "It's dirty."
Anwyn understood immediately that this gold coin lying on the table between them had been used to "reward" her after the forced intercourse.
"Since we both don't want this gold near us, we should get rid of it, shouldn't we?"
Anwyn gave the girl across from her a gentle smile.
"Are you expected at the castle, Serah?" Anwyn asked, and she replied, "No, they think I will come late noon.”
"Then you have some time. What do you say you accompany me to the Wheeping Cliff? When we get there, you can throw this coin into the sea and it will disappear into its depths for all time."
Anwyn noticed something like a hint of hope in the young kitchen maid's gaze as she gave a quiet yes in reply.
"Then follow me."
Anwyn turned away, walked to the door and went to open it, but when she heard no footsteps behind her, she glanced over her shoulder and was surprised to see that Serah was still sitting on the stool. She looked at Anwyn, her lips pressed together, her whole body tense, which Anwyn noticed in her stiff shoulders and fingers and her faltering breath.
"Is there anything else you want to tell me, Serah?" she asked gently, turning back to her.

The maid swallowed, took a deep breath and slowly stood up. Closing her eyes, she reached for the fabric of her skirt and pulled it up to expose her legs and thighs.
"By the gods," Anwyn whispered in shock and looked at the numerous cuts and hematomas on her skin with widened eyes.
Serah's blue eyes were still closed when she dropped her skirt and opened her blouse instead, exposing herself to Anwyn. In addition to several cuts under the girl's chest, she discovered bite wounds next to her navel and above her pubis.
A burn on her left hip bone was already inflamed, swollen deep red and pus had formed under the burnt layer of skin.
"Can you help me?" Serah whispered in a broken voice.
Anwyn swallowed and took a moment to regain her composure.
"Please remove your clothes except for your undergarments. I will fetch fresh water to clean and treat your wounds," she said, trying to suppress the trembling in her voice. She opened the door of an old cupboard and reached for a bowl, took it out and left the house. When she had closed the door behind her, she slumped against the door for a moment and closed her eyes.

The sight of the sliced flesh, the thought of rough fingers pressing violently into the tender skin, so hard that the blood had pooled, made Anwyn's breath catch in her throat.
It must have been an unbearable pain for the young girl as the flame approached her skin millimeter by millimeter. All the pain Serah had endured when she had been bitten and beaten, all the blood that had flowed...

Anwyn rubbed her eyes, suppressed the rising lump by clearing her throat and took a deep breath of the salty sea air. She walked past the half-elves, who looked at her tensely.
Conall's gaze was restless and Anwyn tried to give him an encouraging smile, to show him that he had no reason to worry. She failed miserably.
Did he know about what had happened? Did he have any idea what this girl had suffered? Or had Serah concealed all this torment from him and his wife and only mentioned the bare minimum?
Anwyn walked to the spring and drew water into the bowl. She noticed that her hands were shaking and she scolded herself.
Pull yourself together, Anwyn. You shouldn't show her what this does to you.

Anwyn got up and carried the bowl filled with water to the house. When she opened the door, she saw Serah sitting on the campsite, the clothes she had taken off pressed protectively against her upper body.
Her slender figure sat slumped on the bed, her head hanging forward, her gaze fixed blankly on the floor. When she heard Anwyn close the door behind her, she looked up at her.
"I will now explain what I intend to do to you," Anwyn began quietly. She placed her hands on the clothes Serah was still clutching as if it were a protection against all the adversity that had befallen her.
"May I?"
Anwyn waited until the maid nodded to indicate that she could continue. Anwyn gently touched her wrists.
"I will now examine you and assess what treatments you need. Then I will clean your wounds with fresh water, disinfect them with some alcohol and then treat them with ointment to prevent the wounds from becoming infected. Using the ointment will also speed up the healing process."

Anwyn stood up again and reached for a small bottle on the bottom shelf, which she uncorked and used to disinfect her hands. She held out her hand to Serah and helped her to stand up. While she inspected the wounds, she didn't let go of the girl's hand, who was sobbing quietly and clinging to Anwyn's grip as if it were her last resort.
From her knee up to her breasts, there were numerous cuts, almost too many to count. Some of them were already healing, other cuts were fresh, the tissue swollen and hard.
Anwyn decided to lance the festering blister, as she needed to give the pus a chance to drain. However, she would save this procedure until last as she knew how painful it would be for Serah.
Anwyn took two steps around the girl as her gaze fell on her whip-scarred back. She gasped in shock.
"How often does he beat you?" Anwyn asked, stunned, and reprimanded herself at the same moment. "I apologize, I shouldn't have asked you that," she added.
The silence between her and Serah weighed heavily in the room and she wasn't expecting an answer when she girl suddenly replied in a whisper: "Sometimes only every Tenday."
Anwyn closed her eyes as she heard Serahs's words.

"Then there are days when he does that several times..." She broke off as she felt Anwyn's fingertips on her ravished skin and a tremor ran through her body. "Some days it starts before the castle's inhabitants wake. I try to hide from him, but he always finds me. It's as if he knows every nook and cranny, even the darkest corners. He can see in the shadows and when he finds me, he punishes me over and over again. Several times a day."
Anwyn took a clean cloth, dipped it in the clear water and began to carefully clean Serah's wounds.
"I had heard the rumors about him when I began my service at the castle," Serah continued in a low voice. "I knew that two or three maids were having fun with him and talking about his preferences. But what he... what he does to me... I had no idea..."
She began to cry.
"I know that the gold coin in your possession is something that reminds you every time of what you've experienced," Anwyn said slowly, now carefully cleaning the cuts on Serahs stomach and thighs. "But this coin could be a way out. You could at least leave the castle, the Blackwater Lands, and make a new life for yourself far away from here."
"No, I can't do that," the girl replied, shaking her head. "He threatened to kill my family if I left the castle. And I know that he will put it into practice without hesitation."

Anwyn, who was cleaning a wound under Serah's right breast, looked up at her and their eyes crossed. Hopelessness clouded the young maid's gaze.
"Can't you turn to someone? Confide in someone who could prevent this?" Anwyn asked, stunned.
Serah scoffed. "The lord of the castle cares nothing for the humans or the half-elves who work for him. Nothing could interest him less. Maybe some of them know about what he does, but they don't care. No one cares … no one cares about me."
Anwyn considered for a moment whether she should tell Serah that she could turn to Trálír, but she was unsure whether she wanted to and whether she could take the risk of being open about the fact that she knew Trálír.
"I wish I could help you, Serah," Anwyn whispered, concerned.
"But you do," the maid replied and closed her eyes while Anwyn washed out the wounds and then began to clean them with alcohol. She bravely tried to ignore the burning pain, but a painful whimper slipped from her lips more often than not. When Anwyn had cleaned and treated all the injuries except for the burn blister, she asked Serah to lie down on the camp to lance the burn blister with a needle that had already been disinfected.
She groaned in agony as Anwyn gently pressed against the tissue to drain the pus and then disinfected it.
"You can get dressed now," Anwyn said and held out his hand to Serah so that she could stand up. "Do you need my help?"
She shook her head and began to dress while Anwyn turned away to give her the privacy she deserved.

"I know you are not expected at the castle until evening, Serah. Perhaps you would care for our donkey while I make a salve for you to use on the burn. It will take a while and Oksa would certainly enjoy some carrots waiting for him in a basket. You can get him out of the stable and take him to the run, he'll find his own way there."
While Anwyn was treating the maid, it occurred to her that the journey to the Weeping Cliff would be too strenuous, so she decided to suggest taking care of the animals instead. She knew from her own experience that animals could have a healing effect on a wounded soul.
"Really?" Serah asked in surprise and Anwyn glanced over her shoulder. She nodded with a smile.
"He really likes being stroked, too. Especially behind his ears."
Serah returned Anwyn's smile shyly and stepped out of the house. She heard the stable door open and the soft voice of the kitchen maid speaking gently to the donkey.
Anwyn would boil seaweed and marigold in water and leave to cool. Then she would carefully stir in cold, liquid fat and cover it with a boiled linen cloth until the ointment had reached the consistency she needed.
Finally, she would write a letter for Conall's wife, listing the various herbs and ointments, how to use them and what to look out for. And she would end the letter with an urgent request not to leave Serah alone when she took the dried tansy as tea.