haebin

Sunday.
Our smartphones woke us up at 7:30 a.m., so we all got up on time. I quickly jumped in the shower, and since I knew there was no seat or handle to hold on to, I just got under the water, washed myself quickly, and was done in no time. The whole shower only took two minutes, but by then I was already at the end of my tether.
I had decided to wear my medieval dress and, unsurprisingly, the zipper broke when my mother tried to close it.
Somehow, I had the feeling that fate just didn't want this trip to go well or work out. Everything that could possibly go wrong did. We all got ready and ordered a taxi for 8:30 a.m., as we had an early access ticket that allowed us to enter the convention hall at 9 a.m.
The taxi driver was nice, but he had one problem. He didn't know where to drop us off.
Jaarbeus is a huge complex with numerous hotels, theaters, museums, and restaurants, and to be honest, you don't know where to go. O.O
It's probably easy for people who live in Utrecht, but not for someone who was there for the first time.
The taxi driver was so kind that he only charged us 13 euros and didn't charge us for the time he spent looking for a place to drop us off.
At some point, we all thought we were halfway there when we saw a lot of people walking past us. Always follow the crowd, right?

We paid the taxi driver, got out of the car, and were shocked by the freezing cold wind blowing.
I wished the entrance had been a little closer, as I have trouble walking, but there was nothing I could do about it. So we just followed the crowd until we reached the entrance.
I was filled with nervousness, fear, and such stress that, after the chaos with the hotel and our car breaking down, it just felt unbearable. We then joined the queue for the early access entrance. I was surprised that the hall was already open, as it wasn't even 9 a.m. yet. There were a few people ahead of us, but everything went quite quickly and without any further problems.

The nice thing was that right behind the entrance, you entered the main hall where the main stage, the photo booths, and the signing tables were located. We all walked back and forth, looked at everything, and then asked at the photo booth how the whole procedure worked. I was so incredibly nervous that I wanted to know everything, step by step, because if I know something like that, I can “work” with it and give myself the confidence/security I need.
I have to admit that I was already at the end of my tether, as I can't really walk “that much”. For everyone else, this isn't a problem or a real issue, but for me, unfortunately, it's not that easy. My mother and I sat down at a table, talked a little and watched the people, while Sarah walked around the hall a bit and looked around.
I sat there the whole time watching the photo booth to see how many people would line up. On the one hand, I didn't want to be the first one there, but at the same time I was afraid that something would happen again and I wouldn't be able to take the photo with Neil.

I was just so incredibly nervous and anxious after everything that hadn't gone so well.
It was just before 10 a.m. and Neil was scheduled to arrive at 10:15 a.m. Since there were already a few people in line, Sarah suggested that we join the queue. And at that moment, it was over for me. I was filled with fear, felt sick, and had unbearable stomach pains. But everyone around me was super nice and took care of me. My mother kept stroking my back, Sarah held my hand, and the young women from the convention asked me a few questions to see if I was okay and if I needed anything. To our right was the line for people who didn't have early access, and a young woman said to me and my mom that we looked great. Aaawww! :3

It was soon 10:15 a.m., but Neil took his time arriving. It was 10:35 when my mother and Sarah said at the same time, “Oh, Neil's here, we just saw him.”
Did I see him? Of course not, lol. XD
I thought it was pretty cool that suddenly music started playing, which was probably his idea.
And then the line started to move... O_O
And with every step, I felt more and more nauseous and the fear was just so intense. They asked me if I wanted to include the walker in the picture (no!) and then allowed my mother to come with me —also for emotional support— and take care of the walker while we took the picture.

The closer I got, the more anxious I became. The only thought I had was: Please, Anke, don't throw up on his shoes. Please.
Then I stepped around the corner and there he was. I kind of assumed he would be there because I had seen the photographer and the other fans, and everything happened so fast. It was as if I didn't dare to look at him. And suddenly he was standing in front of me and looking at me with this really sweet smile. I don't think I've ever felt as comfortable and welcome as I did in that moment. It was as if there was only me, as if this was a bubble in which I was safe, secure, and accepted. I then approached him very slowly and shyly with my walker and put it to one side.
He then said with that warm smile, “Hi, I'm Neil. What's your name?”
And he held out his hand to greet me, which I then took and shook.
I was still so anxious and uncertain that I almost whispered, “Hi. I'm Anke.”

At that moment, my mother came up behind us, took the walker and tried to walk past, but Neil quickly realized what was happening and took a step forward. He then leaned forward and greeted her with a “Hi.” I told him that she was my mom, and he replied, “I thought so.”
Neil then turned to my mom and asked her her name. I thought it was sweet to see her pause for a moment, as she wanted to answer him in perfect English.G
“My name is Christine and... I... I like you.”
I saw him smiling when he said, “Awww, thank you, Mami! (He called my mum Mami, squeee!!). Nice to meet you!"
Then he turned back to me and looked at me as if he wanted to ask me what my idea for the photo was.

I thought long and hard about what that would be, as I don't really feel comfortable in front of the camera. Yes, I sometimes take selfies, but they are always taken from a special angle so that I find myself halfway tolerable. I avoid looking directly into the camera and, above all, showing my entire body. I'm happy for anyone who can do that, but I have such problems showing myself. So I thought about it long time until I had an idea. So maybe we could just look at each other? And I wanted to ask him if that was okay with him, because... maybe it would be too personal or uncomfortable for him and I didn't want to upset him.

So he stood in front of me, looked at me questioningly, and I wanted to explain my idea to him. My words were: “Actually, I'm afraid to look into the camera...”
And at that moment, he took my hands in his and said, “Look at me.”
And I did. He was so smart, he reacted so quickly to my words, and that was exactly what I was looking for. I don't feel comfortable with staged photos, I don't have the confidence to show myself, I just wanted a picture that captured this moment.
The moment I had been waiting for so long.
And it seemed as if he understood immediately. The touch of his hands was so soft and the smile he gave me was so honest and warm. And then I thanked him several times and said goodbye again and again.

When the photo was printed, I heard young women saying over and over how cute it was and how good we both looked. :3
And then suddenly Sarah was standing next to me, who also had her photo with Neil. Since the next event was the panel with the Baldur's Gate 3 team and the people from Claire Obscure 33, we went straight to the main stage and found a place to sit. :3

( The Picture )

Current Mood: tired.
Current Location: home.
Current Music: Baldur's Gate 3 OST

Saturday.
I woke up at 6:30am and decided to feed the little cat right away and then lie down again, as I was really tired. I had gone to bed shortly after midnight, but I was so nervous that I couldn't fall asleep until around 2am. And despite my nervousness, I managed to fall asleep again until 8:30am.
I then got up, enjoyed a nice, warm shower, got ready, and spent the time on the sofa, as we didn't want to leave until around 10am.
Shortly before it was time to go, I put Ivi in my room for five minutes and closed the door behind me so that she wouldn't suddenly dash out while we opened the door to the apartment to carry all the luggage to the car. When we were done, we went back upstairs, took her out of the room, of course, and gave her a long hug goodbye.
I must admit that I was a little tired, but the prospect of arriving in Utrecht around 2:30/3:00pm and then being able to spend the whole day in my hotel room gave me the strength to push through.

I wasn't nervous or anxious at all; I just felt that the possibility of meeting Neil wasn't real.
I was in complete denial, possibly to protect myself or to keep my fears and insecurities under control.
There wasn't much traffic on the highway, and we had been driving for about half an hour when suddenly, out of nowhere, our car started to “stutter” and steadily lost speed. On the highway... with numerous cars traveling at a minimum speed of 120 km/h.
120, 110, 100, 90, 80, 60, 40, 20... and with the last stutter, we were just able to pull into a parking bay on the side of the highway, with an emergency phone just a few steps away.

I will always remember my mother's words... Our car is broken.
I can't even describe how I felt. Numb, hopeless, sad. We looked at each other, and the next thing we did was reach for our handbags and wallets to get out our ADAC customer cards ( The ADAC, officially the Allgemeiner Deutscher Automobil-Club (lit. ‘General German Automobile Club’), is Europe's largest automobile association. The ADAC is the largest Verein (club) in Germany, with around 21 million members. Its headquarters are located in Munich. Its original and most well-known service is roadside assistance.)
I hate talking on the phone, I really panic about it, but I know that my mom has poor hearing and that it was simply not possible for her to make a phone call in that situation. You have no idea how incredibly loud a highway is when you're not driving on it.
So I called the ADAC hotline and had to wait about two minutes until I got a man on the other end of the line, to whom I then explained everything, i.e., what had happened, whether the car was still running (surprisingly, it still started, so apparently there was no engine damage), when it happened, and where exactly we were.

I do have a smart phone, but I'm not particularly interested in it. I use it to take photos or listen to podcasts. So it was really stressful for me to explain to the man exactly where we had ended up. I then realized that we had only managed to travel 40 km. :/
When I told the guy that we were right next to the highway (or actually right on it), he said that we had priority over other broken-down cars that, for example, wouldn't start in a town or were stuck somewhere on a country road. I cautiously asked how long we could expect to wait, and they said between 20 and 30 minutes. If the ADAC was nearby, they would call us back on our cell phone and let us know.
Okay.
The next step was to get out of the car and seek shelter behind the guardrail, wearing our safety vests, of course. And then we waited.

So we stood behind the guardrail at -6 degrees Celsius, and since I'm apparently not the smartest person, I had imagined that I would just get in the car at home and drive straight to Utrecht, and that it would be enough to wear a thin wool jacket over a thin sweater....
It was cold. Freezing cold. And we stood on the side of the highway for 1 ½ hours waiting until a man called to tell us that the ADAC tow truck was on its way. Then we had to wait another half hour.
I was frozen to the bone. At least my mother was smart enough to bring a blanket in the car that I could wrap myself in.

While we were waiting, we talked about what we should do.
If the car starts, then we can continue our journey, right, Anke?
My answer was that we should drive back. My mother was upset because she knew how much the trip meant to me and that I wouldn't get back a large part of the money I had spent.
But I was far too afraid to continue. What would happen if it happened again? What if there was no parking lot nearby? What if the car broke down in Holland? How would we get back? How much would it cost?

The young mechanic took a look at everything, even kneeling down several times to look under the car. I sat next to him while he started and stopped the car and drove it forward and backward. He couldn't find any problems. He speculated that it was either the engine or something else (unfortunately, I can't remember what) that works with the engine and that something was broken.
He then asked us what we wanted to do. Continue driving? Or should he take us back, in which case he would have to call his boss first to clarify the situation.

We are very grateful that the ADAC gave us the go-ahead to take us home, because we only have basic coverage, which would have taken us to the nearest repair shop. But since it was Saturday, they were already closed, so we were taken home. I sat in the back of the tow truck and texted Sarah on my cell phone to tell her what had happened and that I couldn't come. Without hesitation, her response was: I'll pick you up....
O_O
I hadn't expected that at all, and I didn't really know if I could accept it. She told me over and over again that it wasn't a problem, that we would find a way to get to Utrecht and have a great weekend.
I remind you that Sarah was at work. We texted back and forth, re-planned everything, and then agreed that she would go home after work, take a shower, eat something, and then drive to meet me.

The trip would take between two and three hours, and we would probably set off for Utrecht around midnight. We got home at around 3pm, which was when we should have arrived in Utrecht. I lay down to get some sleep, but I couldn't manage more than two hours.
I had also informed Jutta that she shouldn't be alarmed when she arrived at our place in the evening, as we would most likely be sitting on the couch waiting. When she arrived at around 6:30pm, we just talked, and despite all the stress, it was really nice to see my best friend again and give her a hug.
From 11pm onwards, I became quite nervous because I was afraid that something had happened to Sarah. A generalized anxiety disorder often leads to imagining absolutely EVERYTHING in an absolute horror scenario. But 20 minutes later, the doorbell rang and Sarah picked us up. So we went down to the car, stowed the luggage and the walker, and then drove off.
And before we set off, I had checked in at the hotel at noon and written to them that my arrival would be delayed. I also booked a room for Sarah at my expense, because that was the least I could do for her after she had decided to pick us up. And there was no question of her spending the night in the car. No way!

The highway was pretty empty and the weather was good - no snow, no fog, no rain. So we left shortly before midnight and arrived in Utrecht at 4:30 in the morning, where we were greeted by a lot of snow. Despite the long journey, the trip was pleasant because Sarah and I talked constantly, moving from one topic to another. We didn't really have a moment of silence because we got along so well. The last 30-40 minutes of the trip were through Holland, and the closer we got to the Dutch border, the quieter I became.
And then, suddenly, I had a panic attack.
I noticed how I was becoming quieter, how breathing was becoming more and more difficult, how my thoughts were really stumbling and I couldn't form a clear sentence anymore.

Sarah quickly realized how I was feeling and helped me through the panic attack with lots of kind words and breathing exercises. (Did I mention that this young woman is an absolute angel?)
So we arrived at the hotel at 4:30am, parked in the last available parking space, and I checked in.
I asked the young man if Sarah could come to our room with us, as I needed help, and his answer was: “Under the circumstances, that's fine with me.” Then he and security carried our luggage and our walker up the stairs.
We went into the room, put our things down, and decided to skip breakfast and lie down until 8:30am so we could get at least a little sleep. And since we had a large king-size bed, we all fit in it and were able to recharge our batteries a bit before leaving the hotel at 8:30am on our way to the comic convention. :3

Current Mood: good.
Current Location: home.
Current Music: Bill Medley - (I've had) The Time Of My Life (Dirty Dancing OST)

When I found out two weeks ago that Neil —and Tim too— were coming to Utrecht and that this would be my chance to finally see him, I was quite surprised at how quickly I took charge of the situation. First, I looked for a flight, but quickly realized that Utrecht doesn't have an airport and that it would be impossible for me to get to Utrecht from Amsterdam by train or bus. That was the first moment when I thought, hm, this isn't going to work. And then my mother asked how far away it actually was. So I looked it up and found out that it's almost 400 kilometers and takes about four hours to drive there. She then suggested that she would drive me there. I was so surprised that at first I didn't know how to react, but she was completely serious. The next step was to ask Jutta if she was free that weekend. We talked on the phone and she told me she couldn't make it because she was taking a carpentry course on Saturday. That was the second moment when I thought, well, this isn't going to work either. Right?

And then I had the idea to ask if she could perhaps look after Ivi on Sunday so I could go to the Convention, and yes, she could. She even suggested that she would come to my place on Saturday afternoon after her carpentry class and then look after Ivi for half the day, all of Sunday, and Monday morning!
And that was my cue to put my plan into action. So, I bought tickets for the convention (for my mom and me, because I didn't want to use her as a taxi driver and I know how much fun she had at Magic Con), the ticket for Neil's photo booth, and accommodation at the Ibis Hotel, less than a kilometer from Jaarbeus, where the convention was held. And then I counted down the minutes, and when the last week began, I really had to fight hard against my nervousness.
Even in therapy, the trip to Utrecht was a topic of discussion, and Franziska managed to calm me down somewhat.

On the evening when I made all the decisions and placed the first bookings, I was chatting with Sarah. She was incredibly happy that I finally had the chance to meet Neil, but at the same time a little sad because her trip to the convention in Brussel had been rather stressful.
We were both sure that we would find a convention somewhere next year that we could both go to. I then suggested that she come with me and that we meet in Utrecht on Sunday and all go to the convention together. Sarah was unsure because she was afraid of having such a stressful time again, even though she told me that she didn't really think that would happen if we were traveling together. I understood her concerns, and we immediately set our rules, such as that it's okay to split up if she needs some quiet time or just wants to go shopping. That we always have the option to pause and say, “Wait a minute, I need some time to myself right now” or “I'm feeling stressed.” In those moments, we would do what was good for us and meet up at the meeting point. We really planned everything. From our time together, our meeting place, the time, the fact that we would meet at the hotel in the morning so she could store her backpack in my room, etc.

Sarah had booked a bus ticket from Strasbourg to Utrecht for a ten-hour journey from Saturday evening to Sunday morning.
Since Mom and I didn't want to stress ourselves out, I had booked a hotel room for Saturday to Monday. Our plan was to leave around 10 a.m. on Saturday morning, as we wanted to check in around 3 p.m.
We didn't want to stress ourselves out and wanted to take the 400-kilometer journey in a relaxed manner. I was quite calm and relaxed after therapy on Thursday, but then I noticed that I was getting slight stomach pains from excitement.

On Thursday evening, I received a message from the Ibis Hotel...

„Dear guest,

We are excited that you booked a stay with us at ibis Utrecht!

With this email, we would like to inform you about some specifics regarding our hotel during your stay. Due to unforeseen additional work following our renovations, you may experience some noise disturbance on weekdays between 9 AM and 4 PM, and we currently have fewer parking spaces available. Additionally, our elevator is temporarily out of order. All hotel rooms remain easily accessible via the stairs... „

One day and a few hours before we drive to Utrecht to check in. Hey, I have no problem with renovations, and the noise didn't bother me either, since we were there on the weekend, but... the elevator isn't working? And the rooms are “easy” to reach in a hotel that has four or five floors? Honestly, I was pissed.
The hotel has apparently been renovating for quite some time, and I assume they could have informed me when I made the booking... but they didn't.
I was too stressed to look for another hotel so close to my trip to Utrecht. IN ADDITION, as I said, I wouldn't have gotten a refund if I had canceled the stay. If you pay via PayPal, that's not possible... I mean, it's paid for, so why isn't that option offered?

Well, I sat there and thought to myself, OK, this isn't my problem, guys. I'm a guest, you have to take care of it. So I wrote an email and asked for a disabled-accessible room (as described on the website) that was either on the ground floor OR on the first floor at most. I have limited mobility, I have obvious muscle and nerve weakness, and I definitely don't have the strength to carry my 10 kg walker up or down stairs. And I certainly won't ask my 73-year-old mother to do so.
Incidentally, I then received a reply saying that the accessible room (with an accessible bathroom!) was “out of order”...
However, I was then offered another “accessible” room, whose door is not wheelchair accessible. But I could get in with my walker. When I got there, the shower had no seat and the toilet had no handle that I could hold on to or pull myself up with.
Sigh...

I had been assured in the email that they would help me with my luggage and walker and bring them to my booked room. I told my mother about this, and she wasn't really happy about it because she knew that it would be very difficult for both of us to use the stairs and, as I said, carry our things upstairs. But I was very aware that I was asserting my rights as a guest. I wouldn't have done that years ago. I would have nodded and struggled my way up with the walker and the luggage. But I am disabled and I need help, and I now demand it.

We spent Friday evening packing my suitcase and her bag. I think we took mostly food and drinks with us, since we wanted to stay in the room anyway. I was nervous, but at the same time excited, even though it felt so unreal that there was a real chance I could meet Neil.

I had been nervous all week about whether he would actually show up in Utrecht, since he had to cancel the convention in Liverpool last week. He streamed in the evening last week and said at the end that he would be going to Holland over the weekend. \o/
One less thing to worry about.
I went to bed around midnight and was surprised that I fell asleep relatively quickly...

( Little Helper! )

Much Love,
Anke~

Current Mood: tired.
Current Location: home.
Current Music: Evan Wood @ TV

Hey hey!
Here is the next entry from me :)
And of course I’ll share my pictures with you, hehe … like for the next six weeks, lol. Hope, u still enjoy it :)

( Airport, Frankfurt – On the way to Singapore )

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Location: my room

Yes, it is true. I am back.
And damn, the jetlag this time is really hard.
Yesterday I went to bed and slept for 17 hours! O.O
That is damn long, I think.
Unfortunately I am still having problems with my stomach and I think I will go to the doc on Monday. Having stomach pains for more than 4 weeks now isn’t so cool.

Today I feel a little bit sad. Honestly, I miss a
Alecs and my friends there so, so much. I am not unhappy here, because my parents and friends here were so happy that I am back. I feel very loved. But at the same time I miss my friends so, so badly. And the warm weather there. I miss everything, even when I made some hard experiences there.

Because of the cold weather here I have chapped lips. And it really hurts.

I think I just need a little bit more time to “arrive” in Germany.

But hey, like I said it before, I had a wonderful warm welcome here. And oh my god, my parents brought Kiki to the airport. And when she saw me, she jumped on me and kissed me like crazy! I really cried so, so much when I saw her and my parents, but I was very happy to see them.

I wish I could write more because so many things are in my mind, but I am very tired, so sorry.

I think, I will start to upload the pics of Singapore next week, when Jutta will send me the cable for her digi cam!

So, please take care everyone and thanks for everything! :)

Anke

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: at home
Current Music: 周杰倫 - 安静 | Powered by Last.fm

that is finally my last day...
i slept very long (woke up at 2.30pm) because i couldn't find any sleep this night and cried the whole time. i am just having 4 hours until i have to leave the hostel...
i think, i will take a long shower now and then bringing my luggage to the guest room. and oh my god, it is so heave. i really bought a lot of presents. wish me luck that i don't have to pay for it, because i don't have any money more...
then i will watch a little bit tv and asking ah long for help to order for me a cab, so that i can leave on time.
gunjan comfirmed my flight yesterday and what a surprise, today i will meet audrey for the first time ever in singapore. on my last day. we talked yesterday on msn and she said, i am coming to the airport. so, i am blessed, right?

seriously, i don't know what to write down. i don't wanna leave. i wanna stay here. i am happy here. but i know i have to go. and i am happy to see my parents, mirko and lisa. and kiki of course.
i feel so ripped apart...

the only thing i am wishing for my flight is, that i will sleep the whole time. that makes it easier for me, kinda.

nya, i am taking a shower now. i think, when the computer is free here, i will take another look!

please take care.
Anke.

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

that is no joke, seriously. I have met shinee. and i got their autographs. and oh my god, they are fucking cute, so cute. i can't express how cute they are XDDDDDD

the concert was pretty cool. when i went to the hall i felt really uncomfortable, because all of the fans there were a) younger than me and b) of course asians. so i was the only caucasion there. when i went to my seat, i saw a message ... the artists would give a signing session after the concert. i was like ... WHAT THE FUCK? i asked a woman there and she said, yes, yes, they are giving a signing session O.O
i thought, no way, that can't be real. seeing shinee and having the chance to get an autograph of them? ... can't be true.

so, my seat was awesome. i had an unbelievable great view on the stage. the artist oh joonsung is very talented and he had a lot of fun playing his songs. we had some screen and u could see some of the doramas, when he played the songs for it.
lol ... when they showed Junho of DBSK, the girls started to scream, lol.

Oh Joonsung was pretty cool. he couldn't speak english, so he said always: Thank u, I love Singapore, the next song is ...
and when he talked about SHINee and DBSK the girls freaked out. I started to laugh so, so much.

Mario& was pretty cool and bobby kim has an amazing voice. thankfully bobby could speak english so he cheered up the audience. but everyone was waiting for shinee. and when they came on stage, the girls freaked out, seriously. I felt so wrong with my 32 years, lol ... but okay, I freaked out, too. I mean ... what the fuck, i saw CHOI MINHO!!!! gosh, he is so cute! :333
So, they sung actually two songs, rofl ... and one of it was "stand by me" from the dorama "boys over flower". then they left the stage ... and i saw like some of the girls were leaving their seats. so, at first i thought ... no, u can't do it, anke. it is damn impolite.

but i did it. i felt bad, but i couldn't resist. so, when i left my seat, a woman of the hall came to me and said, go, go, u have to use the escalator and push 1, then u can go to the place where they signing session is, rofl.

and yes, i stood there ... for like one hour. and i thought, that can't be true. they had really ONLY 30 minutes for the signing session ... and i was one of the lucky fans!

CAN U BELIEVE IT? I HAVE MET SHINEE!!! SHINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

and they were pretty surprised to see an caucasion girl. especially when I said thank u in korean XDDD
actually i like CHOI MINHO, but taemin was so so cute! When he realized that in front of him isn't an asian girl, he smiled and said over and over again, thank u, thank u, thank u! I was really in danger to cuddle him, lol XDDD

so, so cute!~
Jonghyun was pretty cool and they others were so shy. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :333333333

i am so a lucky one, seriously. i am so, so lucky that i had the chance to see them. to met them and to got their signings!

i am so blessed. so damn blessed. seriously, i love this city so much!

no, i try to find some sleep. tomorrow i will see alecs at 11am for the last time (I think). guess, that will be pretty hard for me. but hey ... i am coming back, for sure!

so, i'll go to bed, dreaming of shinee!!!
muahahaha!

*chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu*
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Anke

Current Mood: hyper
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

So, my time here is very short, because everyone needs the computer and this not for only 15 minutes ... no, for 3 or 4 hours -_-
so the whole day I couldn't use the web. I am eating now (dumplings!), taking a shower and then i will go to the concert, yay!!!
I am so, so excited!

See ya, Huns :3

Current Mood: excited
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

...that you'll miss me @ everyone. u all making it so damn hard for me to leave singapore, seriously. we will keep in touch, i am coming back and yes, i will miss u too, for sure.

Current Mood: indescribable
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

Just 4 days left and i have to leave singapore. and yes, i am sad about it. i have so much fun here, i am feeling so comfortable, i love the city and the people here. i love it to be around with my friends.
it is hard to go home again. of course i miss my friends, my pets and especially my family. i am glad to see them again, but at the same time i am sad to leave the place here.

i don't feel so good today. i slept til 3.30pm, woke up with stomach pains (again) and i had problems to swallow o.O
i guess, i will take a time-out for today. the last days were so much on input. i saw so much, i experienced so much. and that in only 4 weeks.

and of course my side is still hurting. did i mention that i will never ever get a tattoo on my body side again? ^^

I don't know what i will do tomorrow. maybe a little bit going around here. it is weekend and all the *famous touristic* places are crowded with tourists and tons of people. and i don't wanna be around with them ^^

and on monday i have the concert, yay! At the esplanade! And the concert halls are pretty famous for Singapore!
I'll see the concert here:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Esplanade_4,_Singapore,_Dec_05.JPG

Pretty cool, ne? XD
And I will take the digicam with me so that I can make more pictures of this place! :D

nya, that is all from me for today. maybe i am going to the lavender food centre, try to eat something. and for the rest i'll just relaxing :)

Anke

Current Mood: hot
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

Ich habe grade ein Foto von Joerg bekommen, wie es im Moment in Deutschland aussieht ... und what the fuck? Ist das bei uns genauso? Also Mama, sieht das bei uns auch so aus? oO

http://www.bilder-space.de/show.php?file=29.01I1LpQUDA5voTRHA.JPG

Falls ja, will ich nicht wieder zurueckkommen oO
Uhm, wie sieht es denn mit der Vorhersage fuer naechsten Donnerstag aus? Immernoch Schnee? Und wenn es gar nicht mehr aufhoert zu schneien ... kann ich dann ueberhaupt landen? O_____o
Ernsthaft, der Schnee macht mir da schon etwas Sorgen oO

Current Mood: worried
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

seriously, i am so tired. yesterday was really exhausting for me. but even when i was so exhausted i couldn't find any sleep. and i talked with my roommate like 3am :o
my tattoo is still a little bit hurting, but my left ankle is so swollen :/
i guess for today i am taking the bus to the central and hanging around with alecs, because walking around like crazy isn't possible.
and i am just too tired of it ^^
i swear, when i am back in germany i will take vacations from my vacations, rofl XD

hm ... i guess, i will go back to bed for an hour, after that taking a shower and walking slowly to the bus station ^^

have a nice day! :)

Anke

PS: At the moment I can't reply so much because a lot of new people came in and everyone wants to use this one computer ... and that longer than for 15 minutes. so, i am sorry!

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

I did it. today i got tattoo nr. 10, woohoo \**/
and let me say one thing: IT WAS SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS, seriously. I think, i've got the most painful tattoos in my life here in singapore. the two traditional thai tattoos with the handpoke method and now this one ... and it is on my right side, starting from my breast til the waist. and god, god, that hurt so much. really, when i am thinking about another tattoo on the left side of my body, say: DON'T DO THAT! IT'S PAINFUL!

but let me start from the morning on. yesterday alecs messaged me about visiting two temples here in singapore. And of course I said yes (even when my feet are hurting like hell after the monster walks of the last days, lol). So, he told me we have to meet at the Toa Payoh MRT Station. so i asked jamie how long i would need to go there and she said, oh, u need a lot of time. so ... if u know me I am a control freak ... and i am always too early. so i woke up this morning at 6 (!) and left the hostel at 6.30am ... and of course i was too early. way TOO early. I was at the station at 7.22am -_-
So, I had to wait til 10am ...
but luckily there was a bench ... and i've waited. and i got tired ... and I fell asleep, rofl.
so, at 10am alecs wrote me a message, woke me up, i was in rush ... slipped out and fell directly on the face *immer mitten auf die fresse, ne?*
*sigh*
So, i have to look at the positive side. i didn't broke my leg, lol. it is just swollen and hurts with every step :) ... ehrlich, ich lasse hier auch nix aus, rofl.

so, of course we visited the temples. and i swear, this was a beautiful experience. those are temples which are nearly unknown by tourists. unfortunately ... or fortunately? :)
it was so wonderful and i made so, so many pictures, lol. and alecs is a great tour guide. he explained me so much and i love it when he is talking about the chinese myths and so on :3

So, after walking around for 2 hours, we went to a food place and he explained me what he likes, lol. and he always said to me, i have to try this and that and THIS and THAT. he really likes it to pick on me the whole time. he loves it.
but i am taking that easy! we have so much fun together i can't be really angry with him.

so, we took a cab to his tattoo studio and at first we just hang around. I took a look of tons of tattoo books and piercing magazines. we browsed together through the web, watched a lot of strange/funny/crappy youtube clips, talked and talked and laughed a lot.

so we talked about my back and I decided to not do any pictures there anymore. the back is kinda full and u can't do another design on it. actually, you can, but it doesn't look good. but alecs said, i have more space on my body, lol.
so, i asked him for doing me the tattoo about the dir en grey lyrics. and he worked a lot on it, searched for the right kanjis, we searched together for the right design and we found a price, lol. he wanted for the tattoo 180 Singapore dollar/90 Euro, what isn't a lot. when i would ask here around i would have to pay around 400-500 singapore dollar. and he did a good work. i am very satisfied and ... i am thinking about new ones, lol.
i am so sorry, but tattoos are so damn addicting. i can't be without them, lol.

but to be honest, it hurts right now. it hurts a lot. gosh, the side of the body is so damn sensitive.

so, now i am at the hostel and i feel groggy.

the funniest thing was ... u know, before alecs is doing a tattoo, u have to pay him before he is starting. so, i didn't have enough money today (because I bought yesterday too many things) and gave him only 130 dollar, but he was okay and said, oh anke, u can give me the rest tomorrow, that's fine. i am actually very happy that he is trusting me so much :)

so, for tomorrow i will go to him, giving him the 50 dollars :)
and maybe just hanging around with him and May :)

ah, both of them went we me to chinatown today. so, beautiful! I tried out a lot of strange food and some jelly grass drink oO
weird, lol.
but we had a lot of fun together XD

so, that is all from today. I guess I will go in my room, falling in my bed and trying to sleep, lol.

btw, jutta? Falls du mir sms schreiben solltest und es kommt nix zurueck, liegt das daran, dass ich im moment staendig fehlermeldungen bekomme und nicht senden kann. ich glaube, ich sollte vielleicht mal mein handy wieder aufladen *hust*

so, see u tomorrow!

Anke

Current Mood: groggy
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

Went this afternoon to Bugis Junction to met Jamie. Bought way too many things for myself, family and friends :D
I had this morning 444 Singapore Dollar ... now I have 70, lol. But I enjoyed it a lot. Had a nice fish porridge for dinner and having NO problems with my stomach. I jumped into a fountain and after that I was completely wet, but it was great! And I walked at home barefoot. Priceless! THIS DAY WAS PRICELESS!!!

So, I'll watch American Idol now and going after that to bed :3

Luv ya :3

Anke

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore
Current Music: American Idol@TV

I am back. I had this morning a monster walk. The esplanade, the St. Andrews Church, the memorial thing, Raffles Hotel ... I am groggy, lol. I wanted to go to Chinatown again, but I am too tired for it. I hope I can go for shopping with Jamie today :)
Alecs couldn't come today because he is having such problems at home, but that is okay ... I mean for me ^^
We will meet us tomorrow then :)

So, finally I have changed my money and now I am back. I think, I will sleep a little bit now and enjoying my cold room XD

And then I will waiting for Jamies call :)
Need more dresses XD

Anke
:)

Current Mood: good
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

And I am excited!
I'll go to the Raffles hotel today! Making more pictures, lol. after that i will walk around!
at 11AM I'll meet alecs in chinatown. and when we are finished I am waiting for jamies call, because she wanna bring me to some stores, where i can buy this beautiful dresses for less than 30 singapore dollar. if that is true and the dresses are so beautiful like this one I am wearing right now, I'll buy a lot for myself, I swear XD
And when I am coming back I'll go straight back to my bed, lol.
right now I am going to bed at 9pm so that I am able to see Singapore in the morning :3

Hm, one week less here in Singapore. Gosh, the time went by so damn fast. I can't believe it. but I've seen a lot. and i met really amazing and lovable people here :3

yesterday sarah gave me a book she bought here in singapore as a goodbye-present because she left for indonesia. okay, it is about god, but who cares? if it helps, fine. if not, it's okay, too.
but the fact that she thought on me is just ... awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

so, now i'll chat a little bit more with jutta! :)

hope, I can write another entry when I am back and no one is at the internet XD

See ya! :3

Current Mood: restless
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore
Current Music: SHINee - RingDingDong

rofl. I bought too much. way too much. but i couldn't resist und i had so much fun of buying stuff, lol.
but let me start with the morning. i took the bus direction the famous Fullerton Hotel. And wow. seriously, singapore is an amazing city. it is beautiful. even when i don't like huge cities, it is so damn beautiful. the best thing was that i startet short before 7am and no one was around. that means, i made pretty pictures XD
extremely pretty pictures of the merlion statue :D
u can take a first look here:

http://www.theodora.com/wfb/photos/singapore/merlion_park_singapore_photo_tourist_board.jpg

this place is so amazing, just amazing! and it was so beautiful because NO ONE was around. can u imagine what is going on there when it is afternoon or evening?
Okay, i think it is very impressing to be there at the evening with all the lights, but at the morning it is so cool there. and i watched the sunrise. whoa, just whoa. i can't explain what i felt when i was able to see it. just relaxed and peaceful. such a beautiful place. and of course i made a lot of pictures.
so, be prepared when i am back at home. u will see picture entries for the next two weeks, lol.

after visiting the financial center i took a cab to burgis junction. another beautiful place. visited there the chinese and indian temples and made beautiful pictures. and i bought some presents for my family. i swear, it is pretty easy to find things for my mum und for tobias. i even found something for mirko XD
but it is so hard to find something for my dad, lol. and when i found something i was broken and had just 15 singapore dollars left, lol.
i guess, i have to go back there, because ... omfg, i bought for myself a dress! and it fits! a really beautiful one! it doesn't even show my hips, lol XD
i love it and it was only for 30 singapore dollar ... that means, 15 euro XDDD
do u have any idea what i would pay for such a dress in germany? i would be poor, i swear XD

and at burgis i found a pet shop, muah (gifts for Kiki! X)!

I will go there again this week, with more money and buying more dresses. maybe around for 100 euro, because i am not able to find such beautiful dresses in germany *_*
So I have to use this oppurtunity!

and of course ... i bought myself cds :o
for around 68 singapore dollar. all from chinese artists, but i couldn't resist.
the guy who sold the cds were pretty surprised that a caucasan girl likes chinese music. he said to me at the beginning: oh, that is only chinese music! For the western music u have to go to the other side.
LOL! I love chinese music and I told him that. So he was surprised XD

and yay, i saw at bugis junction that Eason Chan promoted his CD there at sunday. and i missed it :(
damn, that sucks. but anyway, next week is time for SHINee XD

So, I am going to my room now. I think, today I'll go really to the swimming complex. feeling fine! my stomach doesn't make any problems ^^
... but that is because I didn't eat something, lol.

so, anyway, take care! Love u all :D

Anke

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore
Current Music: TV@Background

Good morning! It is 6:20AM now and I am awake. I want to go to city hall today and making pictures of the merlion :)
I really like it to be in the city when it is morning. it is not so hot and not so many people are around, that is really cool!
I really enjoyed yesterday. Walking by myself, making decisions by myself. it was really awesome.
yesterday I wanted to go to the swimming complex but after eating some soup i felt sick again. not so bad like the weekend, but i thought it would be better to stay at home. and i went to bed at 8pm, lol.
but it was a good decision because i slept long and peaceful.

so, what is about you? did u have a good start in the new week? Are u feeling fine? How's the weather? XDDD

Anke
:)

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore

So, I am back from my trip to Suntec City, Marina Bay and the Singapore Flyer. Everything was okay, no problems. And the best thing ... I took a ride with the Singapore Flyer ... muahahahahahaha XDDD
So, so awesome! And I made great pictures *_*
Okay, when we were at the highest point I really felt a little bick sick. I am not really good with hights and so on. But it was so awesome. And just 30 Singapore Dollar what is pretty cheap in my eyes (also knapp 15 euro).
Really, really cool. And the skyline of Singapore is so, so aweomse! *_*

So, for today I think I will go to the swimming complex again. But at the afternoon, when it is not so hot anymore ^^
And I wanna stay there til the evening :D

For tomorrow I'll go to Burgis or maybe to the Merlion/City Hall. I will decidite it in the morning XD

So, 1 week til I'll see SHINee! MUAH! Really, I am so in love with their song "RingDingDong", rofl. Everytime when I am here at the computer I am searching the song on youtube and listen to it. I think, they are cute XD
And I am seeing them live, YES!!!♥♥♥♥♥

So, okay, that's all from me. Need a little bit rest now to become finally healthy! :)

See ya!

Current Mood: hot
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore
Current Music: SHINee - RingDingDong

so, ich mache es auf deutsch, weil ich eine faule socke bin :D
wir haben jetzt 6 uhr und ich bin schon wach. und das schon seit 4 stunden ^^
na ja, ist ja auch keine meisterleistung nachdem ich gute 20 stunden geschlafen habe.

magenschmerzen habe ich zwar immer noch, aber das ist auch kein wunder, wenn ich seit gut 2 tagen nichts mehr gegessen habe. zumindest kann ich jetzt schon wieder wasser trinken ohne mich zu uebergeben. ich finde, das ist ein guter fortschritt!

ich denke mal, ich werde sobald es hier hell wird, zur Marina Bay fahren und fotos machen :)
es ist morgens, da sind kaum leute unterwegs und es ist nicht gleich 34 grad heiss. im moment macht mir naemlich die hitze wirklich uebelst zu schaffen. also werde ich den morgen damit verbringen durch die gegend zu schleichen (rennen is noch unmoeglich, da ich doch recht schwach auf den beinen bin) und mittags dann wieder nach hause kommen, mich ein bisschen ausruhen und dann nachmittags bis vielleicht abends um 9 ins freibad gehen <3
und nix asiatisches mehr essen, lol XD

mit jutta habe ich die nacht auch ein bissi gechattet und sie hat gleich meine mama angerufen, um sie zu beruhigen. also mama, wenn du das liest, ich bin okay. keine gedanken machen, okay?
streichel lieber fuer mich die schweinchen und kiki :D
und knuddel mir mirko!
ich hoffe euch geht es gut! Denke oft an euch :)

Ah, heute is es uebrigens nur noch eine woche bis ich SHINee sehe! :D
*huepf*
Die sind sooo cool! Und so sexy! Und so verdammt jung, rofl. Aber ich freu mich wirklich wahnsinnig drauf :3

So, jetzt weiss ich nichts mehr zu schreiben ^^
Also, wie gesagt, keine gedanken machen, okay?

Und hier nochmal fuer alle:

Watch on YouTube

XDDD

PS: Btw, schaut da jemand die neue Big Brother Staffel in Deutschland? Ich hab da mal bei youtube geschaut und die ersten 10 bewohner gesehen. rofl, wo haben die die denn ausgegraben, ey? XDDDD
Btw, Unterschichtenfernsehen rul0rt halt XXDDDD

Bis dann :)
:*
Anke

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: Fernloft Lavender, Singapore
Current Music: Kangta - Eternity (instrumental)

I've been dead in the ground for long enough. It's time to try living again.

Entries tagged with myself

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Heroes Dutch Comic Con / The Photobooth

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Heroes Dutch Comic Con / The decision and first steps

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Back at home.

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OH MY FUCKING GOD ... ME MET SHINEE!!!

Concert!!!

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le sigh

Mama? Jutta? Irgendjemand?

so, so tired

Number 10, dudes, number 10!!!

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